March 28 - Spring is officially a week old, and I'm ready to spring into action - maybe I'll have pictures at some point.
My plan today is to get the house back in order, and start taking inventory of what I have on hand, plus what I'll need to see the garden ready for planting. Seeds, starters etc.
Just as an aside, I already had peas in the ground by this time last year, but this year seems to be somewhat more normal in terms of temperatures.
I walked the blasted ruins of my garden a few days ago, and saw spring onions coming up, and my indefatigable rhubarb plant showing it's first buds as well.
I'm insanely curious to see if my strawberry plants and winter carrots made it, but don't quite dare to remove the 18" of mulch that protected them all winter. April is a winter month in Maine, so we wait - at least a little longer!
I also plan to do a household inventory - to make sure I've got a well stocked pantry - I think its going to come in handy very soon.
My medical box is severely depleted, so I need to get on that and restock - pain relievers, allergy & cold meds, bandaids, peroxide, alcohol - all the little things we use up during the winter.
As with nature, spring begins, and I feel the need to emerge from the winter hibernation - much work to be done - much cleaning to accomplish.
Saw an interesting quote this morning that's stayed with me - "The love of comfort is the death of courage."
What an awesome thought.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Confession
I have a confession. It's not as though it's some deep dark secret, or something I've kept hidden for years - it's actually one of those epiphany moments where you realize some deep truth about yourself, that wasn't patently obvious - then suddenly is.
I have three children. Between my kids, there is a 22 month gap from first to second - then an eight year gap from second to third.
My confession?
I wasn't a very good parent.
Okay, yes, all three of my kids are healthy, mostly well adjusted and have made it this far, so in that respect, I suppose you could say I was a good parent. My kids were never neglected.
But the little things - the bits and pieces of parenting that seem trivial, but are no less important - I wasn't very good at those.
I never chased after my boys to do homework, complete assignments, Hell, I never even really chased after them to go to school.
My excuse? Well, I have a lot of excuses - but they seem thin and meaningless when examined in the cold light of day. I was young, I was overly confident in my parenting abilities, *I* knew better! But the one that sticks out the most, the one excuse I can cling to with no reservations is the one that is the honest truth.
The schools were unresponsive to my second child's special needs. They constantly called me about every behavior issue, every hygiene issue, every tantrum, every peep the kid made - they essentially badgered me to the point where I'd physically cringe when the phone rang and the caller ID showed the school calling. I lost jobs (good jobs, with important income) over this. It stressed me, my marriage, and my family - Eventually, apathy became my catch phrase when it came to the school. I just no longer cared.
In turn, this filtered down (or up) to my eldest son. His grades were poor, his attendance was mediocre, and I just couldn't muster the strength to suck it up and force him to do homework or even go to school. Also in turn, I cared little about the "little" things - keep your room clean, brush your teeth, shower daily. My eldest child was on his own - with no guidance. Mostly because 99% of my attention was diverted to my second child's issues.
Now, one might say, I can't possibly blame those things on the school, but in a weird way, I can justify them because of the school. You see, because of their actions, I became clinically depressed - therefore, every action or in-action was a result of the way they made me feel.
When we moved, we started a new school, and things got better, even though the boys ended up in alternative schools, they did better in school, brought up grades, and became really decent young men. Young men I'm very proud to say are my sons.
So I ask myself, was it because of the school system, or did I just somehow manage to pull my shit together?
Probably a little of both.
So here I am, ten years later.
I have a third child now. She's brilliant. Does her homework the minute she comes home from school, brushes her teeth, listens, is respectful...she essentially is the child that all three of my children SHOULD have been had I been better, had I been stronger.
I have no excuses for my lack of strength. I have nothing to offer except an apology to my boys for not being the mother I could and should have been to them.
They know (at least I hope they do) that I love them with every fiber of my being, I never abused them - but I also want them to know I'm so very sorry.
They ask me sometimes why #3 gets away with more than they did, and I'm always sort of flabbergasted by the question - I don't think she does at all, my only reply is - "I'm trying to be a better parent than I was to you guys." I've learned, I've grown and I've healed.
I hope someday, they can understand.
I have three children. Between my kids, there is a 22 month gap from first to second - then an eight year gap from second to third.
My confession?
I wasn't a very good parent.
Okay, yes, all three of my kids are healthy, mostly well adjusted and have made it this far, so in that respect, I suppose you could say I was a good parent. My kids were never neglected.
But the little things - the bits and pieces of parenting that seem trivial, but are no less important - I wasn't very good at those.
I never chased after my boys to do homework, complete assignments, Hell, I never even really chased after them to go to school.
My excuse? Well, I have a lot of excuses - but they seem thin and meaningless when examined in the cold light of day. I was young, I was overly confident in my parenting abilities, *I* knew better! But the one that sticks out the most, the one excuse I can cling to with no reservations is the one that is the honest truth.
The schools were unresponsive to my second child's special needs. They constantly called me about every behavior issue, every hygiene issue, every tantrum, every peep the kid made - they essentially badgered me to the point where I'd physically cringe when the phone rang and the caller ID showed the school calling. I lost jobs (good jobs, with important income) over this. It stressed me, my marriage, and my family - Eventually, apathy became my catch phrase when it came to the school. I just no longer cared.
In turn, this filtered down (or up) to my eldest son. His grades were poor, his attendance was mediocre, and I just couldn't muster the strength to suck it up and force him to do homework or even go to school. Also in turn, I cared little about the "little" things - keep your room clean, brush your teeth, shower daily. My eldest child was on his own - with no guidance. Mostly because 99% of my attention was diverted to my second child's issues.
Now, one might say, I can't possibly blame those things on the school, but in a weird way, I can justify them because of the school. You see, because of their actions, I became clinically depressed - therefore, every action or in-action was a result of the way they made me feel.
When we moved, we started a new school, and things got better, even though the boys ended up in alternative schools, they did better in school, brought up grades, and became really decent young men. Young men I'm very proud to say are my sons.
So I ask myself, was it because of the school system, or did I just somehow manage to pull my shit together?
Probably a little of both.
So here I am, ten years later.
I have a third child now. She's brilliant. Does her homework the minute she comes home from school, brushes her teeth, listens, is respectful...she essentially is the child that all three of my children SHOULD have been had I been better, had I been stronger.
I have no excuses for my lack of strength. I have nothing to offer except an apology to my boys for not being the mother I could and should have been to them.
They know (at least I hope they do) that I love them with every fiber of my being, I never abused them - but I also want them to know I'm so very sorry.
They ask me sometimes why #3 gets away with more than they did, and I'm always sort of flabbergasted by the question - I don't think she does at all, my only reply is - "I'm trying to be a better parent than I was to you guys." I've learned, I've grown and I've healed.
I hope someday, they can understand.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Say Cheese!
So, we made cheese. Mozzarella to be exact.
Let me start by saying a few things:
First of all, making Mozzarella cheese is not difficult. It takes less than an hour, and you can actually eat that cheese as soon as you're finished.
However - if cost is an issue, or you're doing this to avoid spending money on cheese - this is not the cheapest way to go about it.
You need Rennet, Citric Acid, salt, and Whole Milk.
You have to be very choosy about the milk because some dairy's now ultra pasteurize their product to preserve it longer. Ultra pasteurizing means the milk has been super-heated. Great news for supermarkets, bad news for cheese makers.
Ideally, the best milk to use is fresh unpasteurized product from your own dairy cows (HAHA) or same from a local farmer. Know your farmer - be their friend.
The site - cheesemaking dot com has a "Good Milk" list on where to find un-ultrapasteurized milk, as well as many recipes and products for sale. I recommend them. They also have an excellent tutorial on "30 minute Mozzarella" which is what we used.
Our cheese came out really good - after a few bumps in the road (ie - the whey and the curd didn't separate properly - causing me some concern, however, the impact was only lower yield, not trashing the whole project as I'd feared), we came up with 2 (roughly) pounds of delicious mozzarella which we used on rustic pizza for supper.
Total cost for this project was about $20.00 - far more than buying processed, shredded cheese from the store, but worth it to us, because we know exactly what went into that cheese, how old it was and where it came from.
If those reasons are as important to you as they are to us, this is the way to go.
Let me start by saying a few things:
First of all, making Mozzarella cheese is not difficult. It takes less than an hour, and you can actually eat that cheese as soon as you're finished.
However - if cost is an issue, or you're doing this to avoid spending money on cheese - this is not the cheapest way to go about it.
You need Rennet, Citric Acid, salt, and Whole Milk.
You have to be very choosy about the milk because some dairy's now ultra pasteurize their product to preserve it longer. Ultra pasteurizing means the milk has been super-heated. Great news for supermarkets, bad news for cheese makers.
Ideally, the best milk to use is fresh unpasteurized product from your own dairy cows (HAHA) or same from a local farmer. Know your farmer - be their friend.
The site - cheesemaking dot com has a "Good Milk" list on where to find un-ultrapasteurized milk, as well as many recipes and products for sale. I recommend them. They also have an excellent tutorial on "30 minute Mozzarella" which is what we used.
Our cheese came out really good - after a few bumps in the road (ie - the whey and the curd didn't separate properly - causing me some concern, however, the impact was only lower yield, not trashing the whole project as I'd feared), we came up with 2 (roughly) pounds of delicious mozzarella which we used on rustic pizza for supper.
Total cost for this project was about $20.00 - far more than buying processed, shredded cheese from the store, but worth it to us, because we know exactly what went into that cheese, how old it was and where it came from.
If those reasons are as important to you as they are to us, this is the way to go.
Change in tag line
Due to the recent issues regarding the Devraes family and their copyright claims on the term "Urban Homesteading", I've changed the tag line on this blog to "Townie" homesteading. I'm saddened by this action by the Devraes, as I've considered them a guiding light towards self sufficiency - however, I also cannot risk legal action based on my use of their now copyrighted term. http://cryptogon.com/?p=20923
I feel "Townie" homesteading presents a clearer picture of what I'm trying to accomplish here in my neck of the woods, since we're not exactly urban anyway.
Obviously, this change will not effect my goals in any way, because if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, there's a good chance it's a duck.
I feel "Townie" homesteading presents a clearer picture of what I'm trying to accomplish here in my neck of the woods, since we're not exactly urban anyway.
Obviously, this change will not effect my goals in any way, because if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, there's a good chance it's a duck.
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